sewnsmithereens

The bestfriend's back earlier that what I expected. Hope to meet up soon, 695. And don't worry about #210.

Let's hope the afternoon plan getaway won't be ruin by the weather.
This time round, I promise I won't off the phone.

I want waffles with hot chocolate and a tummy that won't grumble soon enough as the sun goes down. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: IT GOES ON.

XOXO.

There is too much to say to put in these measly sentences.
Words of sorrow,
words of joy,
words of apathy,
words of love,
words of hate,
words of everything you say to me.
Yes, they contradict, but like a being they are all different.
Coming from me they are nothing but as you read you connect or disconnect.
My words could be reassuring to one and pointless to another.
The thing is that I write for one and that one will never read my words.

Humanity is probably the most foul, disgusting, dirty species. we are by far the most selfish, narcissistic, self-serving, loathing, prejudiced, diseased species. We are supposed to be the smartest but we are also the most uncivilized. And yet, I don't know why the hell I'm so nice to everyone.

Don't start judging when you don't know anything. It's up to those who know, to decide.
Meanwhile, my hatred entries end here.

OKAY CB LIKE SRSLY. WHO THE BIG FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE LIKE SRSLY? YOU CAME OUT OF NO WHERE YOU GAVE YOUR SHARE OF THOUGHTS AND I'M LIKE THE 'LAST' TO KNOW?! I'VE NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE HATING YOU SO FUCKING MUCH BUT AS OF NOW, I REALLY HATE YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE. I'VE BEEN TOLERATING ALL THIS SHITS FOR MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE AND YOU EASILY OR I'D SAY HAPPILY WENT AHEAD OF ME. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, LIKE SERIOUSLY. HAVE YOU EVER SPARED ANY THOUGHTS FOR ME? WHICH IS OF COURSE BY NOW, IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS THAT IT'S A NO. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE HERE DAMMIT. ONE SAID SOMETHING AND ANOTHER SAY SOMETHING ELSE. FUCK LA. I'M SICK AND TIRED OF ALL THESE AND I'M STILL TOLERATING, BEARING IN MIND THAT I DON'T WANT TO MALUKAN SESIAPA OR JUST LET GO OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE I KNOW MYSELF BETTER. I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING YOUR FREAKING FACE AND ASK WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE HERE. BETTER THAN ME? IF SO, FINE YOU ARE, AS YOU ALWAYS DO. SAJAK LA TU. I'M TIRED OKAY, I REALLY AM. SO PLEASE LA. AND TO HELL TO YOU AND WHATEVER YOU HAVE WITH EACH OTHER. FUCK OFF. YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN JUST SAY TO THE FACE BECAUSE I LOATHE PEOPLE WHO TRIES TO RUIN EVERYTHING THAT I'VE PAINSTAKINGLY WORKED SO HARD FOR. CB. AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND. DOUBLE CB.

AND ON BEHALF OF MY OTHER GOOD FRIEND WHO'S GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AS I AM, FUCK YOU.

PERIOD.

A purpose comes with a point bearing in mind that you have a goal to achieve but is only ruined by what I would rather say, some other dumb purpose. I heard that from two different people in less than half a day. Bless me please.

Right now, I have less than $50 in my pocket. I'm definitely broke. M text me her money from Cameron has already been banked in. I hope mine's too. I need money so badly right now that I'm adapting the lesson of cheap thrills of getting slightly-less-poor (I refuse to use the word rich) 101. I don't mean you have to dig in your mother's duit pasar or dad's wallet eh. No matter how many brains you have, left brain or right brain, please use common sense because there is NO LEFT BRAIN AND RIGHT BRAIN as you have one brain which has its left side and right and if you don't know this, please re-sit for another round of PSLE. But that's not the point, I mean, just don't steal. Please eh. Be smart. All you can do is do the laundry because never underestimate the wonders of house chores. No mother is going to pay you for doing your chores unless you're spoiled or you have a sister like me who bribes the young ones alot. And no please do not ask me to do your share. (If your name is Mohamed Faez Bin Mohamed Sahid, then you're up for the same conditions too) I mean, when you do the laundry there's always coins scattered all over. Check the pockets man, and not just that, you see when 10c or 50c or even $1 coin lying around, pick up! Because, a piece of 10c coin can makes a lot of difference, you can't take the train with 10c less, neither can you buy a can of soda nor buy your favourite mag nor even you favourite epok-epok of 3 for $1 (haha). I'm talking about coins la eh, if you see notes around, be honest la, it's too much of luck to have like a $10 note on the floor, right?

Then again, please eh, glamour must be maintained at all times. Just to show you're not that much of a true blue money face. Hahahahaha.

I had to supervise an NTU staff and my heart almost stop due to anxiety. God knows how I felt because I was <--this--> close to call Dr Susan Lee to give him a practical emphasizing on sterility. So what's the point of internship and who's supervising who, again? (Dah naik pangkat nampak, dah naik pangkat nampak) I made him repeat his name like 45678934567834567 times in 5 minutes much less to spell it out and no I am not bullying this faculty's staff. His Indonesian accent make it sounds as if he was named after a Kid's brand of toothpaste; KODOMO (the lion Kodomo, Japan's brand) But no, his was close but not that. Poernomo, pronounced spastically as poor-no-more.

Thanks to him, I foresee myself doing overtime the whole of this week.
But good news is that I'm given another set of experiments to do, this time it has to do with virus, excited much(: I hope this experiment tomorrow will be successful, just to show that I'm a capable girl despite of my vertically challenged features. Because everyone here appears to be taller than me and I have to be tip-toe-ing to reach bottles of broth which is like 3heads above me. So, can I wish something for X'mas too? And I don't need New Moon brands of abalone or whatsoever. Stop it eh. Maybe just another 20cm longer legs and body and not to forget proportion too.

As much as I like talking nothing useful or doesn't make any sense, I think I better spare you guys from having brain damage from reading this or you'll end up having literally two brains instead of one. Plus my body is aching and suddenly the lab is so cold that made my skull shrink and squeeze my brain. I think that explains the migraines. No, I am not becoming like those in the drama series Fringe, where you're having migraines and your nose bleeds and you morph to be a porcupine. No eh, no procup-y genes in me.

XOXO.

Damn. It's barely noon and the phone went dead as early as 10am. I'm gonna spend another 12hours uncontactable. Great. Just great. Somehow I'm pretty excited for Grad Night. But I have no idea how on earth I'm going to get there, wearing a dress and SPEND WITHOUT GETTING BROKE. I foresee myself die being poor. Really.

& Why must today be Tuesday? I want the weekends already!

XOXO.

[Note: I am not brooding, I'm just consoling myself]

Dad's repairing my brothers' PSP. MY BROTHERS, MIND YOU. And nothing for me. Just great, right? Maybe since I can't spend my kah-chings on a new mobile, might as well go shopping, yes? I'll claim my TAKA vouchers and grab someone to accompany me shopping BUT he/she must not refrain me from spending. You guys know how shopaholic I can be right? Since my $300 isn't going to be for a new mobile, I shall spend that for something else. Besides, the end year sale is coming anyway. So when life gets tough, the tough goes shopping! (Forget about license for now, no point anyway)

First up on the list, maxi dress(: But maybe I have to alter the length. I pendek la, I tau okay. Haha. Then might as well, jahit sendiri kan? -.- Definitely more slacks/jeans cos I don't want unnecessary people to tease me that my seluar terlondeh, right T? Doinks!
Besides no one can stop me (: because I am awesome.

Plus, I'm blasting Jay Sean's album in the lab as I write. See, I told you I am awesome.
And suddenly my specs are giving me headaches all of a sudden.
Anyway, I'm contemplating to get another piercing. Hmm.

"Bie, H scandal euu eh?"
HAHAHA TAK LEH ANGZ AH LU MAT PYO PYO AND ABG GONG(dugong)!

XOXO.

No matter how much I think my parents are annoying at times, I do love them very much. And bear in mind, that conversation was just before we performed evening prayers.

Me: Abg you grow long hair la, like my friend, Farhan. His hair lawa.
Abg: Ibu bagi ke?
Me: Bagi nye la, his hair lawa confirm ibu terpikat.
Ibu: Tak nak la. Tu daddy baru ibu terpikat.
Me: Itu daddy, no hair la mummy.
So I think my future boyf has to be near bald to have him approved by the parents. Hahaha.

And no matter how much I hate receiving phone calls nor talk on the phone for no longer than 5mins, I would say tonight was exceptionally different.
And did I mention, my name is already too long, F?
And maybe I shall just tolerate with the phone till it'll die on me or something. Say goodbye to Samsung Jet/Ultra touch/Star.
Besides, I have too much patience to spare anyway, right?
Grr >:(

XOXO.

I wonder what would be the probability to invite someone over or to receive an invitation for a wedding when you knew the bride/groom was your ex like few months back. For the sake of courtesy and being 'nice'? Well, just a thought.

R called me last two days and I was so excited till I became mute. I suck, please. Can't wait till he touched down and I can finally meet him before he flies away again. But then it'll be December. I'm contemplating whether should I have another getaway, this time back to the village (: but there's a clash. So many plans for December but so little time. And speaking of time, when will I ever get to see you, F?

I told my aunt I don't want to get married. And she scolded me. Who am I kidding anyway, I don't even know what I want in life. I can tell you I want 21 kids with different colour dress codes and I can tell you I want a loving husband and a motor bike license and get a good life but right now, I can tell you that I want none of those. I'd say I rather be alone, travel around the world, having fun, succeed in life more than you'll ever think of. But if you were to ask me again in the next 48hours, I can tell you otherwise.

XOXO.